Friday
Had a big fight with B and i was hopelessly waiting for him to cool down and talk to me..
In the end he didn't even message me or call me till the very next day..
He told me he was asleep the whole day..
Mmm..Nvm
Met up with daya later that evening and was planning what to do for tomorrow..
Had tom yum at her place and her dad told us he'll be making the food for our pinic =))
Thanks uncle..

Saturday
I tried calling B again hoping he'll answer my calls and he did..
Told him i was sorry and could we just end the cold war..
He was reluctant at first but in the end he forgave me..
After that i have to convince him to go pinic with me..
And he said fine (okay) , as he remember the promise he made about going pinic on Saturday with me..
Thanks B =))
Fetch daya from her house and then off to woodlands to take 966 together with Boo and Fizan..
Met up with nad and her bf but due to some issues they went off first..
=/
Everyone was angry at first cause we keep changing seat for nad bf sake but in the end they said they go to go 0.0
Nvm..
Played Frisbee and honestly i suck at playing Frisbee..
B had always been patient when it comes to teaching me new stuff and he taught me how to handle the Frisbee..
After so many attempt finally i can throw that Frisbee..haha
He bought slippers and he's happy about it..
Later on kina came and she went cycling..
The rest of us just played cards first and later on we went to played pool..
Thank you B for being a good host and talk to my friends BF..
You really help by making not making them feel weird or something..
I guess you learn socializing with people from me right?? Haha
In the evening, everyone went separate ways..
B and I clean ourselves first and then went Karaoke at Grand Link
I was surprise when he told me we're going Karaoke together..
I ask him why suddenly you agreed on going Karaoke and he told me cause i know you like and i want us to enjoy ourselves..
Honestly i feel like i was floating yesterday..
He really treat me well yesterday..
Done with karaoke we went to cck as he had to send me home..
This time he was the one waiting for the first train..
I keep him accompany under the void deck till 5.30 am
He was playing PSP and i was snoring at his lap already..
Haha =))

I'm glad my saturday went so well..
Everything was so sweet to me..
Thanks you all for had it going well..
I love you people <3

I just like this fairy tale =)
This is the beauty and the beast..


Me:
I don't know what's wrong with me..
Can somebody tell me..
I'm exhausted with everything..
My diet plan go hay wire too but i did start jogging..
And thanks b for screaming and pushing me to ensure i did not STOP!
Whatever it is i must get back to my normal self..
Must be back on the track!!

Relationship:
I've been picking up fights with my Boncit for no reason sometimes..
And i get agitated very easily with his little2 movement or even his reaction towards me when i'm talking to him..
I know he's been making more girl friends but i don't know why it just get on my nerves each time i know he's does that..
I know he only chat with on the net or over the phone but..Hmm..
Well he did meet a few and end up i get to know..
Which definitely hurt like DUH!
But as long he know his limits..I think it's cool..Huh?
I don't know..
I must not bother so much..
Pfftttt...
However..
Each time i fell so hard on the ground he picked me up..
Each time he broke my heart he'll picked it and mend it back..
He's always there despite of everything that happen..
Anyway be going to TTSH with him tomorrow for his check up..
Hopefully everything will be fine..
Saturday..Pinic??
Sunday..Jogging (Exercise day)
I'm so gonna prove to you i can jog 2 rounds now without stopping..
Hopefully..if not you piggy back me again ok?? Hahah =p
PLUS B i call the insurance thing already and pretended to be your FIANCEE just to help you and ask every detail..
I always have to meddle and settle your affairs right? Hmmm...

School:
I'm done with only one presentation and 3 more to go..
CPR test done but i only need to do retest for one man CPR..
Talking about it only make me upset even more..
It's unfair that i only get ONE chance whereas other get 2..
They are so NOT standardizes.. ='(
I'm access by assistant director of nursing so hell yarh..
I'm happy that i did a good trial in front..And my mistake was i miscount the compression..mmm..
I think if i get the 2nd attempt i could pass..
But..Nvm..
The good thing is it's not being graded or anything..
We just need the CPR cert that's all..
Pharmacology presentation i'm in charge and so much to be done..
I might edit most of their slide and do some adjustment or add on's..
And if possible i want A's for my presentation..
My lappy is still pink and grey but only words can be seen and not colors..
It sucks BIG BIG TIME!!

Friends:
Every thing is going fine now..
I love them.. <3
Malah i'm too addicted to your ipod touch..Sally spa..
Haha..been playing with her ipod touch everyday during lectures =p
Thanks malah..
I think i might ask my parents to get me that as an advance birthday gift? haha..
My secondary school mates is doing an outing but it seems to be postponed..
Anyway keep me update okay? Hearts.. <3
N yarh why not we create a theme for that outing to make it more fun?? mmmm

As for now..
I think I'm going jogging and after that presentation slides..

To be successful, you need to taste failures first..
=_)

I down with so much stuff now..
Exams, presentation and even practical too..
My headache seems to get worse nowadays..
Urgh!
I'm lucky to have groups members whom always help me up and correct me when i'm wrong..
Anyway all this is suffocating me..
Gosh!

Other aspect of life going well now..
But my mood is unpredictable nowadays..Yikes!
Mmmmm

FUCK IT!!!!
FULLSTOP...

It's our Anniversary <3

To Boo...
You meant so much to me..
So much more than i can ever expected actually..
We've been thru so much more than i can ever imagine..
We used harsh words to each other when we're mad but i know we didn't mean it..
Hurting each other only make us feel bad at the end of the day..
Peoples talk about us try pull us away but we're still together till now..
I don't know what I'm gonna do without you in me..
My whole normal routine will be different if you're not with me..
I get restless if you didn't text me or call me a least once a day..
I had that feeling when you're away in Tekong..
I know you feel bad for making me feel that way but it can't be help at that period of time right?
That was the hardest time too me..
I thought you wouldn't change for the better, i thought you're the same as the mens i met before whom promises me words only..
But you're not..
You told me the truth after you did something wrong or even after i found out..
Truth does still hurt and get me fuming mad as usual but i'm happy and grateful that you're being honest..
Not only that you're responsible..
Of course you have bad point too but you're good points make me forget about the bad one sometimes..
I just don't know how to describe this feeling I had towards you..
Honestly without you i can get lost or worst..
I'm not that strong being alone without you..
I'm happy the way we are..
And the future plan that we had made =)

I love you so much!
Happy 14 monthsary =)
Ps-you're the first guy i dated this long..

Weee..
Finally i see the dark blue skies is clearing up =)
Honestly my eyes is dry now..
I don't think i can shed any more tears..
Well hp is for repair now..
So i'm not that contactable for now..
Can't believe,i'm getting clumsier as i grow older..
Tsk!

Exams and attachment date are out..
I'm left with one month starting from today..
Better open up my books and start doing something..
5 presentation coming up too..
Stress!!
N yarh i ace my biology practical this time..
But it's just the beginning..Need to buck up for the rest..

Anyway,i told b i might be away from him for 1 week when exams start cause i need to focus and he don't mind so hopefully everything will turn out fine..CROSS FINGER!
About him, his guard duty schedule is making me SOOOO SOOOO SOOO MAD! He always had guard duty over the weekends or even on special dates!
Oh well..never mind as long he's okay with the system i should be okay with it too..Mmmm =/

I need to get plenty of rest now..
Just recovered from major headache and fever..
Haha..Low immunity people like me..

Ps- If you're happy i'm happy too.. <3

Shaluuu i love your sweet rice thing!!Hehe..

I'm so gonna stop emoing and throw my sorrows so far far away..
I did something yesterday and B is freaking dissapointed..
I don't know what's wrong with me but i keep hurting him repeatedly..
I keep rolling my eyes when he scold me or even scream at him and even bite or beat him when i feel like for no reason..
It's like i venting my anger, sadness..Like everything on him..
He just kept silent and constantly try to be there..
Oh god..
I've been cutting down on meeting him due to exams..
He told me it's fine if we're not meeting each other since i want to study..
All i know he'll miss me.. =)

Friends...
Everyone is facing a rough patch now..
We're trying to be there for each other..
It's like a disaster for everyone now..
Year 2 sems 2 is bad enough and having problem make it worse..
But we'll make it thru..

Family..
Still the same situation..

Finance..
Been saving up money to pay my bills.. =)

i don't understand why family issues never end..
it seems to get worse and they keep blaming me..
they told me the reason the divorce issue came up cause of me..
Wth, what did i do?
Just because of me coming home late over the weekends?
It's not as if i'm running away from home or something..
I don't understand..
Even most of problem or my own darkest secret i keep it to myself..
The pain i'm feeling now is unspeakable..
I keep myself strong and not leading myself astray cause i wanna be a good and a better person..
I wanna change for the better..
I hide my personal problem from others due to certain reason..
I believe people have their own problems too..
oh god please lend me your strength for me to face all this..

B is totally confuse about my family situation now..
If he is already confuse how about me?

For now..
I just wanna be calm and void doing anything stupid..
Am controlling all the FUCKING emotions cause if it's not control things can be pretty bad..

Don't let your emotions control over you..
Let you control your emotions..

i don't understand why family issues never end..
it seems to get worse and they keep blaming me..
they told me the reason the divorce issue came up cause of me..
Wth, what did i do?
Just because of me coming home late over the weekends?
It's not as if i'm running away from home or something..
I don't understand..
Even most of problem or my own darkest secret i keep it to myself..
The pain i'm feeling now is unspeakable..
I keep myself strong and not leading myself astray cause i wanna be a good and a better person..
I wanna change for the better..
I hide my personal problem from others due to certain reason..
I believe people have their own problems too..
oh god please lend me your strength for me to face all this..

B is total confuse about my family situation now..
If he is already confuse how about me?

For now..
I just wanna be calm and void doing anything stupid..
Am controlling all the FUCKING emotions cause if it's not control things can be pretty bad..

Don't let your emtions control over you..
Let you control your emotions..

Surprise Surprise!
I had actually started studying for my biology..
I did write notes but it's seems a lot to write..
Maybe i'll just read up repeatedly to memorize it..
Oh well..
I'm not that fast learner and i really want to pass my Bio paper this time..
='(

Today i did my house chores and did study too
Mission accomplished..hehe =)

Went out later in the evening and had dinner with mom, my sis and B =)
He was force by me to have dinner with my family..
I told him to be FAIR!!
As most of the time i give in to him and spent time with his family..
This time it's his turn to spent time with my family..
He kept silent all the way just now..
He's not like me..He's bit shy..Hahaha!!
Mom told him 3 things and she give him a green light to scold me if i'm to stubborn..
Esh!
Well, both of us did plan for the future..
Date:12/2/12
That can only happen in many conditions..One of it was to have a proper career..
He was telling me that both of us better earn more then 2k, if not it's hard to survive and also we have to work hard..
Anyway it was only plans, it can be change right?
He told me he still want to study maybe..So let's just see how first.. =)

One thing i really like about him now..
He never stop me from studying and pursuing my dream which was to get a diploma first and then a degree..
In fact the moment i told him i got exams he just told me to study wisely and have proper sleep if not i end up sick again and again..

My focus is more to my studies and resting time now..
Not forgetting to have fun also =)

About family..Mmmm..
I'll just have to wait and see the outcome..

It's 5am now..
I'm going to bed

Things will get in time..
Loves <3

My notes!

My theory for paper for skills is over now..
Next week, skills practical examination (injection) and biology practical..
So much exams stuff going on now..
After exams will damn packed with presentation and then upcoming semester exams again..
How shitty can my schedule get..
After exams attachment!!
Do i have time to really chilex during holidays?
Yes and No =)

My lappy is sill down! Argh!!
I hate it..
Everything so blurry now..It's super bad for my eyesight now..
But no choice i still have to use it right?

Friends and relationship wise going well..
But family wise..
It's just get much more worse then expected sometimes..
I have to live with it and try to overcome the painful situation..
There's always good and bad in life to create a BALANCE right?

Thursday be staying home to study and do house chores..
Friday might be having the same plan as thursday..
Saturday, maybe going prawning with B and his bro and fiance too..
Let's just see how the plan go..

Since i'm going out over the weekends, i have to study during the weekdays..
BALANCE!!
Haha..wat's up with the balance thing..
LOL!

For today, i just wanna hit the bed and sleep..
Slept at 4am yesterday to study and woke up at 7.30..
SO sleepy ='(

I love your touch =)
Muaks! Nights <3

Been unlucky in life currently..
Too much of internal conflicts at home..
I can't stand it..
I simply had nightmare every night cause of this and end up crying like a little girl..
I keep waking my bf in middle of the night and told him about it..
He comfort me so that i can get back to sleep again..
=)

Since school has reopen now..
I'm gonna be busy with all sorts of things..
I'm off the track during holidays..Period!
Ergh!
Must be back on to task again..

SYAHEDA stop the holiday mood and come back to the world!

Cold Rock ice-cream is Yummy!!
I had vanilla and cheesecake with brownie..
Wohoo!!
I think I've been having ice-cream almost everyday..
Haha..

Well what i did today
Woke up in the afternoon with 3 messages from Bie..
He keep asking me to wake up and calling me Pig!
Cause i still haven't wake up when it's in the afternoon already..
I really sleep like a log =p

Did house chores as mom was screaming already..Hee
And off to Queensway..
Mom drove us there and it was funny the way mom drove her friend car..
Lol..
She bought me a new Levis jeans and a hairband..
I like..
Then we went to Ikea to buy boxes and off to Chai Chee to celebrate my cousin birthday at a restaurant..

The food was not too bad..
I simply love the chili crabs =)
Ummmm..
My cousin was super cute..
It's her birthday and her celebration was only a short one..
She keep asking me where are you going after this..
I told her maybe home..
Why you have plans? i ask her..
She said no..
She look super sad when nobody is bringing her out her birthday as her fiance was ill..
Thus i told her let go town and walk around..
She was super happy la..
Haha =)
I was happy to spent time with my family..

Bie was asking me what time i'm going home..
I guess he's worried..
I used to lie and was super bad..
But now..I've change i want to be faithful to you.. =)
I miss you!!
He ask if i want to go clubbing tomorrow..
Mmm..Maybe i would..And end up laughing and smiling and giggling like mad women again..
LOL!
He is camp and snoring already..
He's tired guard duty for 24hr..
Meeting him at his house tomorrow to wake him up..
Smelly Boo2..

Anyway pictures time!!

It'a new year already..
I've made my resolution for this year already =)
I'm happy that i'm get to see this new year together with Bie..
But i can't celebrate or watch fireworks with him today cause he is in camp now ='(
Got guard duty..Not fair..
I always catch fireworks with him..
What to do..
But thanks love for the new year message..
I'll put our unpleasant past aside..

I meet him for a while today..
He came over at my place and end up i see him snoring at my bed while i was getting ready to go out..
Haha..
He's tired..Army really worn him out..
But i really miss him.. ='(

Oh well, today i went over to grandma places and chit chat with my aunts..
Daania was there..
I was teaching her how to kiss..
Notti me..haha =p
I love her...Baby daania
Had mango pudding and it's super delicious =)
Yummy i like..

After that i went lot 1 to shop for a beg..
Haha..
Did window shopping again but i'm not gonna buy any more clothes till boo get his pay..
We're going to shop again after his pay cause he want to find a new shoes..haha =)

It's cousin bdae!!
Happy birthday!!
We're gonna celebrate later on this evening..
I'll update more soon..
Haha..

I'm happy to have you all along..
You told me we'll start a new with new resolution this new year =)