Yesterday night which was this morning..
It was a disaster a super bad news..
I had to raise a huge amount in order to pay them back..
Why i loan that much it's because of my bad past..
It's damn hurting when it came back and stuck in my head..
I had no choice but to talk to C and told him i pay his share later..
And he said no rush cause he knows I'm in a bad state..
So i now i only need to raise half of the amount first..
Which is good news..

I told B about it..
He told me to calm down and convince me he'll figure out ways to raise that half amount first..
I told him "I'm sorry for sharing this burden with me if you wish not to help me it's okay"
Him " No, we get into this state together and stop handling the burden yourself, we share this burden cause it's my fault too.."
Me " I'm sorry for getting into trouble most of the time and always need your help..You're always there went i need someone, be it with my current family problem or anything..Thank you boo..I love you"
Him " Just go to bed now..It's already 2 plus..And stop crying cause you're having a bad headache and already SOB..We'll meet tomorrow..Night baby love you.."

Honestly i'm touch..
What ever he did to me he always take responsibility for what happen..

Oh well..
I got to get ready now..
Be meeting B soon..
And Dee thank you for talking to me yesterday..
I already had this problem sort somehow..
Don't worry about me K gf?
I know you're facing problems too..
Love you People =)
XOxO

It's Hari Raya today also known as family day..
Spent half the day at my aunt house (family gathering)
Another half of the day is spent at home...
Which is happening now..
Hahaa..
I will be doing my school revision and homework after this as i'll be going out the next day..
Time management..Haha..
Yesterday we did not catch ninja assassin as he was asleep and i want to go home early..
So yarh..
The plan was postpone..Tsk..




Anyway..
I love my cousin baby.. Super cute la..
Hehe..Cubby2 baby..
Boo haven't talk to me today.. ='(
He's busy entertaining his relatives..
Never mind..

Here's the pictures of the baby..
Enjoy.. =)

I feels so empty..

When i'm home nowadays, i felt as if it's no longer the same as last time..
Everyone seems to be doing their own things..
Mom was home late almost every weekdays and busy working..
Dad staying at home UNEMPLOYED! and always blame me or find fault..
I know i'm a good daughter to you..
You always name me a slut, bitch and a lots more..
It hurts but yet i told myself that i'm gonna bothered to much about it..
I'm a grown up i don't understand why you can't even be opened minded sometimes..
Mom and dad always quarrel over some issues sometimes..
Forever fighting and the outcome of the quarrel is simple..
He blame it on me telling me i'm the reason why it start..
Whereby i did nothing to start the spark to those quarrel..
And Thanks to dad i have to search and desperately look for jobs and save as much as i can to support myself..
He's a father and a men..
Yet he don't wish to work..Picky about jobs..
Can't i even just enjoy my teenage life and be a spoil brat sometimes..?
I don't feel like i was pampered by him anymore..
Here i'm typing this with my tears flowing..
I tried to immune myself again today when he said all those harsh words but it seems so difficult that i broke down somehow..
So what if everything seems okay outside but at home everything is falling..

I don't wish to be home anymore sometimes..
='(

The movie date went well
And after that movie date we went fishing..
Hahah..
I'm tired now..
I want to go to bed..
To B, i know something bad happen today, you lost your wallet in a cab
But luckily your 11B, ezlink and your camp pass is with you..
Brace up my dear..
Don't be upset anymore..
I love you..
Anyway, i'm searching for a part time job..
=)
Ps: Finally my mom treat me tulang..weeeeheeheheh
I'm gonna miss my adik tomorrow..She'll be sleeping over at my aunt place ='( nobody is going to watch HOT SHOT with me..Buuu Huuuu

That's all i want to say for now..
School tomorrow..
Nights =)

Here are some pictures..

I did my manicure today..
Weeeee!
Pinky nails..



It's weekends now..
Time for me to wind up a little bit..
=)

Well, family issues seems to get worst..
Oh well..
I need to be strong as i don't want my studies to be affected
It's getting much more complicated and bizarre then it use to be
Hmmm..

Anyway, i'm catching a movie tomorrow..
2012 with B =)
It's been a while since we step into the movies..
Somehow we tried to catch a movie at least once a month together..
Heheh =)

N ya..
Somehow i'm determine to exercise
I want to keep fit..
I think i'm gonna start jogging and swimming soon =)

Hi people..
My life has been a smooth sailing journey now..
Thank you god =)

One major thing i learn was never to lie..
Be true to yourself and your partner if you really want thing between both of you to work out..
Your friends and other people may not understand what's happening between both of you..
Thus they can't say much..
For me and him..
We did had a small quarell but it didn't last more than 2 hours..
Haha..
He learn to give in and say sorry now..
At least he made and effort to change already..
And despite of me being busy with school, he didn't even complaint or ask me to skip class as he want me to study hard..
I'm touch BONCIT! haha =)
And don't call me gemok! I'm not FAT!

On our anniversary, we had dinner at KFC and had mango strudel..Yum2..
I enjoy the simple dinner we had..
And this was my first time celebrating a year relationship..
Done with dinner..
We rent dvd and catch it at his home before he went to camp again =)
Even thought it was simple celebration..
I'm still happy and contented..
<3

School..
I'm trying to stay focus and be consistent in all the work i'm doing now..
I need to work hard to excel..
I want to graduate together with my other friends..
I don't want to take anymore sub paper..
My goal for this semester is to a hit a GPA of more than 2 if possible
Lastly..
I'm loving school..
Teheheh..

Friends..
3hr break is our shopping spree at AMK..
I just love them..
And it was funny when all of us enter a shop we're like intruders to them..
=p

Family..
Mom and dad forever quarrel..
I just hate it when they quarrel in front of my sister..
She's scared and confused..
End up i have to make sure, she's not looking nor listening to their talk..
She's still young and have yet to understand what's happening around..
For me..
I'm too immune..
I'll do same thing as i told my sis to do..
Cause sometimes..
After the quarrel they blame me for what happen..
LOL!

Anyways here are some picture..

Taken on 16/11/09
My anniversary date =)

This picture was taken on our very first date..
13/11/08..
We knew each other for 3days only before going steady on the 16/11/08..
Till today we're still there for each other despite knowing one another for a very short period of time at that time..
We really learn a lot from each other for the past 1 year..
Somehow we understand each other needs and nonsense now..Hee..



It's been a year since i know you and be with you..
Thick and thin we've been thru together..
I remembered how we shed tears for each other..
How we fought and reconcile again..
You're the first guy that i had the most longest relationship with and feelings for you hardly waver somehow..
You had made me experience a lot of new things within this one year..
Be it good or bad..
But one thing for sure you're always there for me whenever i need you the most..
You remember our anniversary each month and the special days too..Such as my birthday..
I know every occasion that i name it special you always tried to celebrate it with me and be with me..
Even on this day our anniversary you're willing to take an off day from work and celebrate it with me..
I love you Hubby..
Happy 1 year anniversary =)

Some people just love telling lies..
Some people just love to start their old habits again..
But to B..
Thanks for telling the truth about you drinking yesterday..
But try not to start your old habit..
Cause i get to know easily..
Tsk..
I had a great day with you over the weekends..
We really spent our time wisely together..
Thanks swits =)
1year fall on the 16th which is tomorrow =)

Pictures of me

What a small world..
People i know ayu also know..
Wheheeh =)
Making new friends and meet new people really meant a lot to me..
But i won't want to judge anyone because i believe people change and I'm not perfect either..
I make mistake, i learn from it..
I fell down and i get myself up again.. =)
Friday..
I'll be sleeping over at B place..
I kept declining the offer thanks to attachment..
Now it's over i have to spent some of my time for others too..
Thanks for understanding my hectic schedule..
And to another B..
I miss you!
Oh well i need to rest..
Am exhausted..
A brand new journey and day for me tomorrow..
Loves.. =)
PS: I can't wait to be in school..I miss my mates..XOXO

This attachment which gonna end soon really put me into a lot of test..
Bitter sweet is felt during this attachment..
But yet i still pull myself thru and go on to give my best..
I'm waiting for the outcome..
Hopefully i'll passed this attachment =/
Well..
Most of my days now..
I'm occupied with my nursing studies and work..
No time to really think too much about guys..
Enough of boys talk..
It bored me somehow..Hee..
I'm love my Sundays cause i'll be spending time with my cousin and it's been 2 weeks straight i've been hanging around with them..
Thanks to my cuzin new born baby whom bonded us...
Love you baby girl.. =)

My new hairdo =)
By the way..
I'm not a quitter..
I'm not gonna quit..

A lecturer came to me yesterday and accessed me..
I told her everything i know about them and when it's come to medication i was huh?
I don't know..
But after that i checked and told her i know the medication already..
All she said was i don't want to know?
When i already learn something you ignore..
WTH!
Reason simple, TTSH i using EIMR..
And we don't have the password to log in and check..
Next, everyday i keep changing patients and it's difficult to keep track and understand them well..
NONE of my patient is DIL nor have major cases..
It just left me nothing but too ensure they are okay and resting well..
The moment she came she asked me why are all the patient sleeping at this hour..
Why are you just looking at them?
Eh hello..
When i move around you scold me to go back..
And when i'm back you ask me why i look a them only and read their case notes??
And are you blind! i've already clean up the cubicle and para taken!
Are you just dumb or stupid?!?
You want me to wake them up and make noises..
Yes i admit my theory is not that good but at least i know some things non as if i'm that dumb..
You scold me off like i'm fucking lazy and did nothing and as if i had bloody 0 knowledge..
What else can i do when everything is done?
Wash the patient toilet!?!
And open your eyes larh! none of the are DIL!
I know one of them is strict i/o but if he preferred going to the toilet to PU
even the staff nurse also told me to let him go..
WTH!
What triggers me the most was..
You told me to quit nursing cause you don't see any passion in me..
I admit i had no interest in this course..
I want to drop this course so badly but i can't get it..
I just want to end this course asap and get the dip cert and get lost..
Trust me if hate seeing me being a nurse..
After this you won't see me working in any hospital..
DAMN!