For every ending story, there's a new beginning..
A fresh start for a whole new journey..
It's you whom will choose what's gonna happen to you in life..
Here i am making a public apology for what i had done..
Sorry for the attitude and sulky face..
I've though about it thou..
Thanks for making me realized..
Saturday will be out with family..
An outing with them and i really need that with my family now..
Been having a rough patch with them..
Hoping that day will turn out fine..
Sunday, be fetching the army men..
Haha..
B- "Don't forget to fetch me in the morning okay? and you better wake up if not i'm gonna knock your head"
Me- "Okay2, you try waking me up on that day to fetch you..Heee "
Keeping my fingers crossed
As i fear that i might sleep like a log and overslept...
You love me fetching you all the time don't you?
Mmmm..
Been quarreling about a lot of stuff lately..
But try to put those quarrel in talking terms..
I MISS YOU LA MOK!
i can only spent time with you on sunday cause monday am back to hectic lifestyle again..
I want to gaze at the stars with you like we use too..
But yet you're still a jerk!
Haha
1:07 AM
Wednesday, July 29, 2009Y
It's been quiet some time since i last blogged..
Busy with attachment and work after that..
My whole mind is in whirl..
Men you made me crazy..
I think I'm walking away and turning my back away from you..
I'm sorry b..
It's just too much for me to contain already..
Baby boom is the word to describe my cubicle which I'm attached to..
Super crazy..
But it's definitely a good and fun experience..
Training to be a proper mom..
Hahax..
Family, hmm..
Still the same..
I want to sleep now..
Super duper SHAG and SLEEPY and TIRED and EXHAUSTED!!
=Been cranky lately and really hate everyone..
=Don't have to tell me what to do, you want to do it just do it and say it to them don't ask me to say it for you..
11:52 PM
It's been a super tiring and exhausting week for me..
I've still yet to recover from my illness..
What do you expect?
I don't get enough rest..
I'm working as a nurse now and my part time job..
Hmm..
Now with my family problem.. Haiz.. My dad make my life so miserable.. It has always been him.. Mom almost the same as him.. Only that she nags erh!
Boyfriend.. Forever getting angry at me.. And for no reason sometime talk to me in high pitch or lazy to talk to me..
I'm already trying to cope with high level of stress.. With illness and my exhaustion.. Recently when i blow my nose.. Blood can be found in my mucus.. What is wrong? Mmmm
In Life Problems are everywhere..
I know i have to face this and be strong..
It's hard but this is my life..
Attachment is fun yet boring sometimes
Oh boy i love kids..
=)
12:03 PM
Monday was my attachment.
I get lost going to KKH..
So stupid of me..
Attachment there was like baby paradise and kids too..
Hehee..
It was fun feeding the baby as i hold him into my arms and hand..
For kids, i keep playing BINGO and coloring pictures..
I was surprise when these kids have not played BINGO before..
Therefore let me give them nice childhood memory..
I was sick and it's a 50/50 situation to take MC and go home or just continue
But in the end i choose to continue and hang on..
This pictures were taken last Friday to celebrate Nana and Gariel Birthday =)
Enjoy..
Location SOUL GARDEN
12:23 AM
It's hurts alot when people keep bitching about you behind your back..
I know my "friends" and classmate are doing that
But what i can say or do..
People talk and even i try to keep their mouth shut will it works?
The answer is NO..
People don't stop talking..
You told me to stop working, if i do..
Are you gonna help me in term of my finance?
You people come from a quiet well off family but me?
I need to work for money..
I don't get what i want even if ask from my parents..
But you people? You get don't u?
Therefore i work to get money to save and to support myself...
It's super tiring and with you people like this make it worst..
Yes i admit I'm slacking but i did make a lot of effort to get myself out from bed and head to school..
With my body so tired and shag..
I got problem and have you all ask what's my problem..
You only heard the minor problems such as my bf..
But have you really bother asking..
The real problem or what is happening?
I'm facing the problem myself..
Even when i need help you people weren't there..
I get into the mess and cleared it myself..
Have you all clear one for me before..
I don't think so..
All you did was criticize me..
Even if i was in a deep shit nobody was there..
I have to think of the alternatives myself..
Everywhere there's problem..
At least I'm daring enough to face it..
And think of solutions..
I'm sick now..
I wish i was infected by H1N1..
I wanna have a good long sleep..
I'm tired..
No one care anyway..
11:52 PM
HAPPY 8TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY
MUHD RAHMAD BIN HAMZAH IS ATTACH TO
NUR SYAHEDA BTE ABDUL AZIZ
But I SUPER HATE YOU!
SOB SOB ='(
3:10 PM
Wednesday, July 15, 2009Y
It's been days since i last blog..
Okay here i am now..
Presentation is all done..
It's over..
Phew..It was super annoying when ICA period came..
Stress,Stress And More Stress..
Since next week is attachment already, i have to do revision on my lab skills
& not forgetting on my other subjects too..
After attachment is EXAMS!!
So horrible =(
Work,it's funny when you're angry & you vent it on others'
I got scolding today by Rachel as she was in a super bad mood..
She scold me about everything, as in all the mistake i made..
Wow!
But that's fact, I'm clumsy maybe i deserve it ='(
I was in happy mood just before the scolding part happen but now..
A little moodless..Hmmm...
Upcoming weekends, I can only spent little time with him cause he has to go for RT..
Bad things has befall him lately
Boo, you're not alone..
I'm here with you
He's super jealous when his camp mates keep asking him to give my number to them..
His friends purposely said " Eh that's your younger sister is it? Can we get to know her?"
Him " Eh, hello, she is my girlfriend and not my sister! Get it!"
He told me he felt like killing them for doing that..
In fact his friends try a lot of method to get my number..
Stupid men..
People whom know me well know that they need to seek my permission first before giving away my number to others..
Plus I'm purely lazy to entertain people sometimes..
I'll choose the people that I want to talk to..
Someone left something behind with me..
Keys..
I know you're still watching over me..
Plus since you're not talking to me..
Fine then..
My throat is having a lot of flam..
Eee..I don't like..
I want to go swimming..
Can someone bring to the swimming pool or the beach?
I Miss The Feeling Of Swimming ='(
I Want Nobody Nobody But You!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBn1e9pr2Q
10:58 PM
You're back in Tekong..
I know we're facing a lot of problem..
But will work things out..
I know I fail to look after myself..
I'm sorry..
Been sick and it sucks..
Lack of rest..
Mmm..
Some shameless jerk try to send me virus
Just because i refuse to web cam with him..
But that virus doesn't work on my lappy..
You're such a low life,shameless,despo,stupid,idiot JERK!!
Hug me kiss me..
12:43 AM
Expect the unexpected..
It happen in life..
Somehow this phrase is happening in my life..
I don't have anything much too say about it..
I'm just purely tired..
My mom notice that too..
She keep asking where am i each time I'm not home..
I'm home super late for the past few days..
Sometimes not even home till 6am..
I went home only to sleep for a while and back to school n later onwards work..
Imagine how tired i am now..
Problems keep coming up..
And only you can think if the solution right?
Mmmm...
This is to my little sister..
Happy Birthday Adik!!
I Love You =p
We had an early celebration with her today..
We ate at fish n co..Yummy!
Next we went to bugis street and shop for clothes =)
She's super excited and happy..
Lol..
Last words for today..
It's you that i want and not what you have..
12:44 AM
What have you done?
You really disappoint me and shattered my heart into
Bits of pieces..
Explain to me..
Why do this happen..?
Am i not good enough for you?
Or you just want more..
I totally don't understand..
I don't understand why I keep forgiving others
Always wanting to give chances but it was never treasured..
Men, you hurt me..
Open you eyes and realize things could you
One presentation is down =)
3:55 PM
I look like a ghost today..
It's pretty obvious for others to see that I'm tired..
They told me to stop working and concentrate..
If I do..
Financial problem will be worse..
It true actually, if one day i end up in the hospital..
Don't be surprised then
Tired and unwell..
One after another is falling sick..
Casper..
Get Well Soon Too Yarh.. =)
I look pale i know..
Mmm...
Poly like is definitely stressful..
If you're thinking of entering poly just be mentally and physical prepare..
Cause you're gonna get super exhausted and brain toast =p
Clubbing tonight?
Don't think so people..
Under alot of stress and pressure..
2:56 PM
I'M SUPER EXHAUSTED AND TIRED..
I'M STILL UP DOING MY PRESENTATION..
HAVEN EVEN SLEEP THE WHOLE DAY..
NOT EVEN REST INFACT..
SCHOOL AND WORK..
AM SICK NOW..
MMMM=/
4:07 AM
Pictures were taken when he send me back home and i look super slack =)
Hubby, get well soon okay..
He got a super bad flu..
Keep sneezing away..
On 2 days medical leave (MC)
Be back in Tekong on Wednesday morning i guess..
He's super cute la..
His sick yet he want to spent time with me..
Thanks hubby..
School..OMG!
I don't even know I was having presentation today =/
Had to be a nurse for my lab lesson..
It was not too bad..
But I look pretty lost and was stoning..Hee..
Sorry =p
Tomorrow, so gonna settle presentation first.. =)
Hmmm...
Be working tomorrow
Am exhausted and tired now
12:22 AM
My weekends..
Hmm..
Was cool cause i get to spent my weekends well..
Like that =)
Sat,
Fetch him and went to his house to clean ourselves up first..
Loiter around Jurong Point with his mom,his bro fiance and him..
We spent almost 1 hr plus there..
Head to Jurong stadium and catch soccer..
Gombak 1 Woodland 2
If you ask me which side i'm supporting..
Well it's gombak..
Reason simple, his bro and my cousin husband is playing for that team =)
Done with soccer, we went to Lau Pa Sat..
Had satay and honey chicken..
Chatted with his bro fiance(Raidah)
While he was talking to his bro and friends
Next to Hendreson Waves..
He was asleep and was in a bad mood
As he's super tired and yet I kinda off irritate him I guess =/
It was hilarious hanging out with his bro qaamal,raidah,yat and khai..
They were cam whoring all the way and making funny2 poses
LOL
And home sweet home
Sun, it was raining the whole day..
Hmm..
Cannot even go out.. =(
I can't stand my dad..
He keep giving damn bloody harsh remark on me and keep talking crap..
Things i did not do he said i did..
Well, the reason i just keep my mouth shut and did not quarrel with him was because of my mom..
I don't want my mom to feel bad..
As each time me and my dad got into fights, my mom end up as the middle person..
And my dad tend to throw his temper on mom..
Gosh..trust me dad, i can be worse if i want but i still have to show you respect that's why i kept quiet each time you babble nonsense about me
I LOVE MY MOM..
She's the reason why i stand here and hold my temper towards my dad.
The hatred i had harbor towards my dad is deep..
But i had to control it..
Mmm...
Cause I know, if there's no you..
There won't be me..
And thanks for bringing me up
4:18 AM
A few more hours more and i can meet this men today..
Haha..
I know he book out kinda of late, but what to do..
There's a reason for happening, sorry can't tell why..
And it's not confinement okay..
He's been good =)
Say bye Tekong, hello Singapore
Mom and dad seems in a good term now..
Not too bad huh..
=)
Wanna know something..
It's the 4th today.. ;)
Hmm..I want to watch ice age 3..
Cute =)
I got to go..
I need to fetch him later...
And yarh i stinks now..
Eeeee...Smelly =p
9:18 AM
Hello everyone..
This time my life seems to better
After a bad long week..
Thanks to me whom never give up
And be strong, my problems were solved..
It seems better now..
Thanks Allah..
For giving me the strength..
My presentation seems bloody haywire..
Oh no ='(
To my cousin..
Thanks for helping me getting the jacket online
And showed me a good website to shop..
I like=)
Can't wait for tommorow..!
Whoooooo!!
K la i need to shower now and get ready..
Be having lunch with lil sis =)
1:38 PM
When i first heard this song..It totally reminds me of you..All those stuff we've been tru..All those quarrels we had..All the tears we shed for each other..The happy moments we had..No one else knows what is happening in your own relationship other then you..People can continue telling you this and that about what they think..The rest is all up to you and your partner..Cause they are not in your shoes..
"Be With You"
Eh eh eh eh eh eh
Ohhhhhh
I know they wanna come and separate us but they can't do us nothin
Your the one I want and I'm a continue lovin
Cause your considered wifey and I'm considered husband
And I'm a always be there for you
And either way you look at it I ain't goin no where from my muffin
Cause she gonna hold it down, cant no body tell her nothin
You got the kind of love that always make up after fussin
And that's what gets me closer to you
And no one knows
Why I'm into you
Cause you'll never know what its like to walk in our shoes
And no one knows, the things we've been through
Can never measure up to half of what I put you through
That's why we'll break through
And I don't care what they say
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I wanna be with you
And I don't care what they do
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
Seems like every day that go by things are gettin harder
Want to be the one that give you the whole enchilada
Cause I know what my baby like, ?? that Prada
Louis bag to match with the shoes
All about knowing you I'm into doing things to keep her longer
Stickin together forever, watch it grow stronger
That's the way it has to be, everything proper
Keepin it always true
And no one knows
What I'm into you
Cause you'll never know what its like to walk in our shoes
And no one know, the things we've been through
Can never measure up to half of what I put you through
That's why we'll break through
And I don't care what they say
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I wanna be with you
And I don't care what they do
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
You are everything in my life see the joy you bring
And ain't no one I can compare you to
And I know that you will never walk away from me no matter what
And that's why I plan to do the same thing for you
And I want you to know
And I don't care what they say
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I wanna be with you
And I don't care what they do
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
And I don't care what they say
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I wanna be with you
And I don't care what they do
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
1:55 PM
You did it once again..
You shattered my little heart into bits of pieces yet again..
I don't even know if you had realize it..
Plus I'm seriously MAD at you..
Am i dumb or getting dumber?
Am i blind or i just need a light to torch on my eyes to see?
It keep happening..
Never wanna turn back to the conversation we had..
STUPID DUMB ME!
Mom has been home pretty late everyday..
It's been happening since the day my family to break into tiny little pieces..
Here i am crying as i blog this..
I wish all this were just nightmare and when i woke up it'll be gone..
But it isn't..
I had no one to turn to..
I had to be strong and try to save my family..
My little sister is not strong enough and she has yet to learn and understand what's happening..
I saw her crying and complaining to me each time my parent had fights as soon as I was home..
Will i be able to face all this?
School, projects is yet to be completed..
To many missing points..
Am i suppose to fill that in for you people?>
Haiz...
Looking at those pictures we took..
Made me think about you..
Wish you were here right next to me..
Telling me that it's okay, everything will be fine..
Mom saw your picture as i display it on my lappy..
She smiled..
12:34 AM
Casper..
Happy 21st birthday to you..
Which was yesterday but i just blog in now..sorry..
You want to avoid me huh? mmm..
Wan-you ignoring me too right..OK!
Friends-where are you people when i had a major downfall in my life..?
I never had a true friend i guess..They only appear when they need help..
I guess what wan told me was true..
Non of friends are there for you..
You're a loner and always end up fighting yourself..
I know what he said to me was true..
I had no true friends i guess..
Where are those people i name them as best friends?
Idk..
My whole world is falling..
Every bits and corner of it..
Friends,family,work,school..etc..
I'm fighting and facing it all alone..
I even had to fight my depression..
Too much happen..too much stuff that made my depression come again..
I felt so negative..I kept thinking of ending it..
My health isn't in a good state either..
Since everyone wanna go away from me..
Then i have to say this..
JUST GO AWAY FROM ME!
SHOOoo..
IF YOU'RE UNABLE TO GET TRU ME I"M SORRY!
12:55 AM
I Miss The Feeling Of Swimming ='(
Pictures were taken when he send me back home and i look super slack =)
