My world with my ♥

Sunday, March 29, 2009Y

Saving as much money as i can..
Money saver..=)
Will be bringing food from home and heat it up there
Cutting down all my expenses and use it one day..
Been struggling with my fiance and I believe only me can make it stable again..
Must really work hard to save =)

10:45 PM

Saturday, March 28, 2009Y

If only we leave in a dreamland..
All that we wish for can come true easily
Nothing much to do on the weekends and I'm sick again
Stomach ulcer i guess..hmmm =(
Save the earth today..
Off your light at 8.30 onwards everyone!!
Play a part too okay?
I had a new addiction now days
I keep watching malay drama online
Esp the fantasy kind of story line..
I like =)
Princesses =)
Juliana julia that's the show

7:22 PM

Friday, March 27, 2009Y

One attachment is down left with TTSH only..
Been wondering and thinking about so much stuff lately..
It get my mind into a whirl
Plan's that failed yet we had made it succeed..
About others running away from you avoiding you..
Hmm...
Honestly I'm such a clutzy girl..
So really gave up on me..
While others I don't know..
A roller coaster ride i took..
Up and down it went and finally it stop..
When it stop, it's finally over..

10:37 PM

Wednesday, March 25, 2009Y

Do you really have to ask other girl for their no.?
Do you really need to have a lots of other girlfriends?
I've been good and this is what i get in return?
As I check your profile you still ask for no.
I'm astonished by your behavior..
The more I say NO the more you do it..
I GIVE UP aites?
If you still wanna do this..Fair enough you left me with nothing much to say..
You wanna be friends with a lots of girls..
Go ahead but if i wanna do the same better not stop me from doing it..
You restrain me from contacting guys and you?
Be fair can you?
I thought it would be different but it turn out to be the same all the time..
I trust you that you would never meet those girls up and you did
BUT.. you had the intention to meet them all the time..
I caught you read handed a few time about asking those girls for a meet up through your smses and chat logs...
How much disappointment you wanna give me?
I don't know if I should start doubting about you meeting those girls up or not..
I don't know what to do now in fact..
Boys are Boys..

12:38 PM

Sunday, March 22, 2009Y

When she got nothing do =p

9:32 PM

I woke up pretty late today..lazy bum me =p
Had so called lunch with my sister and baby g first as we're planning to go swimming today..
Rang hubby up to make sure his awake and not late..
He arrived here around 2.30pm and he park his bike at the car park..
I had fun riding the bus with him cause his been with bike to travel around all the time but today it was a special day for him..
He had to ride the bus with us..
He's so cute..He feels one kind when i told him to tap the Ez-link once he step into the bus and before he alight the bus..
We change ourselves and place the beg in the locker..
I was wearing a bikini and a short..gosh i told him to look at my fats and he just pinch it and laugh..doink!
1,2,3...
We jump into the pool..we went to the wave section and at first we stand at 0.8m level..lol..so short..
It's hard to swim there.. Therefore we decided to go in deeper..
Baby G was happily swimming in the deep pool and I told him to help me to look on a close watch on where his swimming
Trust me i can't swim well but hubby does..he diving into the pool and pull my leg..
I terrified okay!
He told me to try to swim and i did but yet unsuccessful and i feel one kind..
He head towards me and give me hug..so sweet..
All of us just continuously laugh as hubby keep disturbing every one of us..hmm
Soon enough it was raining heavily..
And since his working later on at 6pm..
We decided to called the waiting period off..
Me and my sis showered first..
Gosh there's one loud irritating little kid inside the shower room whom don't understand the word public toilet..
She kept singing so loudly and all those songs she sang was high pitch!!
MY EAR DRUMS CAN REALLY BURST!!
While Baby G and him went to shower, my sis and i bought prawn cracker and hot milo..
It's feel good to have the hot milo..
Baby G was out from the shower first and i was wondering where's is he?
When he approach us he told me that
'i waited for him in the shower and here he is..hmmm'
Kesian hubby..
All of us were pretty hungry at that time..
We bought mango juice and apple aleovera before leaving the place as we're still thirsty..
Then we went to fun fair..
We bought takoyaki,shark fin and yeu sumtink..i forgot it's named
We sat under the void deck and finish the food first...
It was already 5.25 and hubby is still at choa chu kang..
I told my sis to send baby G home while i went home first to accompany him to take his bike from house area carpark..
We went separate ways by then..
We took the bus again and when we reach my house area..i told him not to send me up already as he's pretty late..
I kiss and hug him goodbye
Well pretty fun day today.
Even thought it was only a while

I'm missing that someone now.. =/

1:22 AM

Saturday, March 21, 2009Y

"It's Not Over"

My tears run down like razorblades and no, I'm not the one to blame: it's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out and now we are all ashamed. And there is no sense
In playing games, when you done all you can do.

But now it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back, but it's over.

I lose myself in all these fights; I lose my sense of wrong and right. I cry, I cry. I'm
Shaking from the pain that's in my head. I just want to crawl into my bed and throw away
The life I led. But I won't let it die. But I won't let it die.

But it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart. Don't say this wont last forever. You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart. Don't tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart. Don't say this wont last forever. You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart. Don't tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

It's not over. It's not over, it's never over, unless you let it take you, it's not over,
It's not over, it's not over, unless you let it break you. It's not over.

1:45 AM

Friday, March 20, 2009Y

Confused
Exhausted
Lost Hope
Giving Up
Surrender
Life is full of mess up staff and challenges...
Plans make don't usually go accordingly..
Once it goes wrong it's seems pretty hard to get it right back again..
Is that what people usually called it LIFE?

11:08 PM

Thursday, March 19, 2009Y

Contented and happy for seeing someone close to me after a long time
Love is still in the air
Muaks Muaks Muaks!!
=)

12:05 AM

Tuesday, March 17, 2009Y

Beep Beep...
My handphone vibrate this morning..
I was fast asleep so i've check later on..
Receive msges from my school regarding my results and...
I found out that..
I only fail one subject this time round..
I passed my weakest subject biology and fail psychology..hee
Went to my school website to check out more and....
My GPA improve this semester plus i only need to retake one paper instead of two this time..
I'm over the moon..
Need to work hard on for my psychology supplementry paper..
Be attending it's remedial tomorrow =)
Share this with mom, dad and him..
They told me to continue this way as they believe I can achive better..
But..it's ganno be pretty difficult..really need to work extra hard..
I must be pretty crazy to blog this after i know my result..haha
Be bloging more soon..
Wanna have breakfast first..
THIS CALL FOR CELEBRATION!!

9:35 AM

Monday, March 16, 2009Y

His the only reason i go crazy and wild

11:45 AM

I don't know what's wrong with me lately..
I feel like hiding in a small hole and cried as much as i can..
I tend to feel so down even when i smile..
Dark black clouds above my head as the rain shower me..
I'm soak and wet, feeling helpless and down..
A big thud hits me real hard on the ground and i don't think i can stand up properly again..
A smile crave on my face but tears behind those smiles..
Can someone just help me..
Am i having problems with my self esteem or what..
I talk as per normal and people don't notice any difference but i don't feel right and okay..
What's wrong..
Tears roll down the cheeks as i stare blanky at the wall..
Hmm..

11:20 AM

Friday, March 13, 2009Y

Recieve a call in the morning, it was him..
I'm glad that his well again as his voice were fresh and loud..as usual..haha
He wakes me up with a loud voice and he keep laughing at me..
Reason..simple i always have difficulty waking up and i tend to make alot of noises..hee..
Including an excuse such as just give me 5 min and i'll be awake...that is so impossible actually..my 5 min sleep can end up 30 min later..hehe
After he woke me up i went to the washroom to clean myself and had a light breakfast which was only V for Vitagen..Heatlhy choice =)
Sat on the sofa with dad and catch cartoon together..gosh he loves cartoon so do i dad..=)
In a jiffy i got myself ready right after hubby called me up..
We'r going out today..wohooo!
I'm late again as usual, he rang me up and yet i wasw not down yet cause busy talking with dad and make uping..hee
We went to city hall area to collect his aunt passport and bank in my dad pay..
Right after that we went lavender( beach road) to have tulang..hehe..i'm craving for that for quiet sometime and he already promise me to bring me there today..ta da..i get my tulang.. we order $8 tulang and 4 each..gosh..i kinda off dress up today but i had tulang..malu seh..
Guess whom i saw today a junior of mine i don't knoiw his name..gundu me...
When were about to set off it's was raining..
We're stuck..we went up to level 3 and walk around..i saw a cute boxer..Sponebob amd patrick..i think i'm getting that for him soon..my favourite cartoon character..wohooo!!!
Went his house and just lepak here..haha
We catch dvd together..
While he is playing with his psp i keep doing window shopping online..haha...
I keep on irritate him by asking him ni lawa tk?..hee...sorry b..
His like my farting machine..keep kentot je..esh..
We went out again for a while just now to meet taqim his cuzin nak collect a tent as we're might be going east coast tonight and overnight there with some of his friends..he bought for me hairband as i feel damn frustrated with my newly long hair..i think i'm gonna keep my hair long even though it's damn irritating =)
Hubby i got a new craving i want carrot cake!! =)

6:00 PM

Thursday, March 12, 2009Y

Dear god keep my loves ones safe and sound again
My mom and my hubby is down with fever and now my hubby is also down with diarrohea..
He's like a lillte kid when his sick..
I had to feed him when he eats if not he refuse to eat much
He never wanna me to leave his sight no longer that 5min..
Here i am sitting right beside him as I blog this post..
He's been asking me when can he get well..he don't wanna be sick
I had to comfort him and ensure that he's emotionally and physically okay..
Hmm..really hope he'll be okay soon
Plan's plan's plan's
To go swimming always ended up cancel..
It's funny but i really cried over this plan yesterday..cause of the weather i had to cancel it alot of time and it hurts me =(
I've been doing nothing much since holiday started..
I've not contacted daya after she's back with mel..suprise suprise..
I try all ways to help her forget mel as that what she want's but end up..
speechless..her passport is with my guy friend and on the day that she wanted her passport he told him to come down lavender and he did
when his there daya wasn't there..he waited for sometime but to no avail thus he went back..
at night daya msg me and told me his full of attitude..of course he will give you shit attitude..
what do you expect..he bring you along to places me and my bf goes as he know you got no rider..he's your rider but yet die tk pernah cakap banyak and minta duit minyak pon..
it's your own mistake..you know that mel da patah your sim card and yet you didn't give him ways to contact you so that he can return your passport as you fear mel marah..eh dulu you and mel x so he has no right to get angry after you patch then he has the right's understand girl..don't put blames if you tend to make mistake..you should know yourself and your mel beahviour..
I'M BIG TIME DISSAPOINTED IN YOU..
it's not wonder most the guys i'm attached too told me jangan tolong kawan2 you sangat..You susah tkde yang tolong you pon..
I think that's partially true..
haiz
Telling me thanks for not helping you is a welcome..
I've already help in much mess..comfort you and try to make you feel better and this is what i get..
I can't help that much cause of my guy and chamender is his friend..He already feel that you making a big fool of chamender by asking him go all the way down to lavender..he told me to tell you that his not your (baruah) but i did not as you're still my friend and i don't wanna hurt you..
I don't wanna quarell over this staff..you know yourself better..
All i'm hoping that you wake up girl.. =(
All this make me feel sad and tired..
I'm gonna do something to whine up..
That's all for now..

2:32 PM

Tuesday, March 10, 2009Y

So much happen in the last 2days..
Quarell,fights scream and yells..
Well sick and fucking tired of this..
When i was in a need of a shoulder to cry on nobody was there..
Actually there's one shoulder, my hubby
But we qurell in the morning so he don't want to talk to meet till the time when i start quarelling with my parents and don't know whom to talk too..
And I've decided to talk to him that was when he comfort me..Thanks Syg =p
I keep calling him EVIL man somehow cause he like to bully me most of the time..So yar..EVIL!!
It was raining heavily today and we just continue our journey to his house,,on the way home his slippers drop at the road side cause he lost grib of his sliipery wet slipper..
Pity him..he had to change his bike cluthes barefoot..i know it's painful and yet he bear with it..we search for that missing slipper and its found now! haha..cute sia..
we went slipper treasure hunting at the raod side..
Since we're at yishun we lepak with fizan and friends! haha everyone was shivering as the weather is like ice cold therefore all of us decided to go home early..
Hmm..got to go to bed soon..need to wake up early as i need to wake him up tomorrow, just to make sure he sit's for his exmas tomorrow
And ya my dad is so cruel he consficated my lappy adaptor and battery..now i had to use computer! ergh! hate it...
Hmm.. been feeling unwell lately..down with slight cough, bad gastric, my idoitic infection is still taking under precautions and ben feeling feverish sometimes..
Hmm..tomorrow if it's a sunny day...i think i want to go for a jog and a swim as plan by me and him today but was cancelled due to bad weather..neeed to lose weight..Fat Ass already seh syaheda =p

12:34 AM

Saturday, March 7, 2009Y

I had no comment about what had happen today..
You had told me that you prefer to have our own ways then let it be..
I don't think i can shed any tears again for now..
Goodbye to you..
Stay happy..
And thanks for spoiling my perfect day plan..

A girl with a broken heart..

5:34 PM

Friday, March 6, 2009Y

Delicious Prata i had today..yummy..
he really pampered me with all those nice and delicious food
i swear this Prata shop he brought me to this morning is one of the best prata i've tasted..Thumbs Up for that..
i had one egg and 2 kosong and one sardine gravy and curry..
i really enjoy having it..hehe..my tummy is geting bigger after that.. =p
We pack it and when to Feaghus house as we're buying for him too..
Feaghus made Milo ice for me..yummy..love the taste of his Milo..Thank you Feaghus..
After having the delicious breakfast he send me home as we only plan to have breakfast together..
After all his working today he needs to have a good rest..
Hmm..Should i plan to go Sentosa tomorrow?

10:00 PM

I feels there somethings amiss and missing
It make me wonder why
Living in a life full of pretending and avoidance
Why are you running away and keeping quiet?
One min your okay and the other your not
I had nothing else to say but just where are you?
Been wondering,waiting and searching for that missing soul

8:15 AM

Thursday, March 5, 2009Y

Hoping to meet that someone today cause we're unable to meet yesterday due to work..
Wishing upon the stars for the impossible to happen..
A love of my lifetime..
Quarrel= Scream + Shout + Yelling + Tears + Hurts
Waiting for something to happen and a reply..
Cheated,lies,truth and facts..
Blind by love which make you to have a brain dead, hidden past and present, plan and for the future but was destroyed..
Disaster happen which lead to tears rolling down the cheeks..

10:27 AM

Wednesday, March 4, 2009Y

what did i do the moment i woke up today..
1st: i chatted with dayah and ask her to accompany me watch a soccer match with me and my guy cause at least when she's around he won't scold me and tell me to shut up..as i tend to talk so much..heehee..sorry hubby but that's so me =) (noisy girl)
2nd: i ask mel sister if there's anyone need tuition and she say she need did..so my rate for her was $6/hr.. and thrice a week as i wanna help her out too as a form of revision =)
3rd: when to his house to wake him up personally..hehe..he looks so funny when he wakes up..and since daya is following us he had to call up his friends with bike to tompang daya..as usual..mane la motor s'pore leh bawa 3 person..haha..
when i check his hp there waa a girl whom ask him about meeting her up..
so i ask him ' you tanye pompan kuar agy eh?'
him' ah2, suppose to meet tadi petang but tak jadi uh i malas i tk blh bgon pon'
me' hmm,asyik ajak pmpn kuar eh ni pon i have to find out myself'
him' u da tau per ni i tk jumpe die agy pon per'
me' yerla'
i don't know if i should be happy that he tell the truth or angry cause he ask another girl out behind my back?
well..at least he tell me the whole situation honestly..hmmm
4th: we catch bola and daya seems so happy..haha..weird girl..
5th: daya told me his friend that bring her talks so much..haha..layan jer la girl..da bagus die kasi naik motor die tu.. =p
6th: we had Mac donald after the match..and since we're short of cash hubby and me share a filet o'fish.. he even feed me..wheeheheh..so happy..
7th: while waiting for chamender( a change of rider for daya as her previous rider da nak alik) i play around with hubby motor wave..while he go park moto kr die..nak change of bike plak..
haha..now i know how to bawa that moto but straight road jer..(esh very bad no lesen da bawa moto)
8th: we go ECP Mac Donald and this time I had my own burger cause my gastric act up already.. daya belanje me apple pie after that..yum2..
okay i'm gonna talk alot here..
listen okay?
hubby is freaking evil and disgusting..ader die eat a bit of my apple pie and play around with the apple..he chew the apple pie dulu then make it into small bit and use straw to shoot at me,daya and chamender..gosh it's so gross!! da that apple pie manis and sticky so it stuck at our hair or face..EEeeeEe..he keep doing that and all of us da macam a big fool..laughing and running away from our seat..even a guy whom seat behind us were laughing at us..so malu..
the most funny thing was..in the end all of us wear helmet inside an aircon Mac Donald all thanks to hubby! main with food and shoot at us..EeeeEeee..But it was Fun =)
9th: we sat at esplanade, the riders were sleeping while me and daya play cards..we play 21 and snap..macam budak kecik but yet fun..hehe
Lastly: Home sweet home..i was shivering on his bike cause of the wind so sejuk! he didn't talk to me so i thought he was angry at me..so i kept quiet..but somehow i start the conversation and ask if he were angry at me and he no..phew! i told him i'm freaking cold and he gave me his jacket..so sweet..
he send me at my doorstep area( as usual) and we kiss goodbye..
well that all for today..i wanna sleep..hehe..
NIGHTS

6:00 AM

Monday, March 2, 2009Y

I Miss You
I Miss You
I Miss You
Gosh..i miss him..it's been a few days since i see him..we use to see each other everyday but now not so often..hehe.. well we have to distance a little so have that we can miss each other..haha
He told me to do job hunting again and not to give up till i really get one..hee..
He himself is doing that too as he find his mac rider job is not helping and as the management seems to be a bit corrupted..
Well..i don't want to talk about yesterday quarrel as we're fine now..
I did ask him did he miss me and he say he did..wohoo!
hmm..can't wait to meet him tomorrow..am still praying that we won't get into a fight again..hmm..
He's busy working now therefore boredem has struck me..
Can't wait to meet him tomorrow or shall i say later nak go jb =)
Yeapy!!

10:42 PM

Quarrel again and again..this time it's about whom suppose to pay his over flooded bills..one of the bills was his but was use by his x gf and that bill i'm suppose to pay for him..i told him it's unfair to me cause it her bill and you mess it up and i'm suppose to pay for it..if the bill was only $200 plus i don't mind but it's $600 plus
i told him that i can't help now cause i'm jobless one and the other is i myself is not stable yet..
in the end he just told me that might as well i don't help at all and people like me don't even need to help..
like wth! what does he mean by people like me don't need to help..haiz..
i'm so disappointed and sad when i heard that..
I'm like a pest and nobody huh?
oh well...
Suppose to meet my cousin today but it happen that i over slept..hehe..sorry cousin..tomorrow okay?
i promise =)
need a job so soon..hmmm..
please lucky charm please help me to get a job..

3:21 PM

Sunday, March 1, 2009Y

Am so glad that everything is back to normal now..he's no longer mad at me..
Had cockles at his house cause his mom and aunt bought alot of cockles and they happen to know that i love cockles so much that they even told him to invite me over..gosh i really ate one big mangkuk of cockles..yummy..
He also fried prawns and egg(telur mata lembu) for me..hmm..it was my favorite..as i preferd the egg yolk not to be fully cooked but somehow when i cooked that myself the yolk get fully cooked..that's why i told him to cook for me and he did..thanks sweet =)
after the meal i wash the dishes as ususal..
we chatted for a while before he send me back home..
He keep calling me perakus(big fat eater) jusr because i finsh the cockles by myself..heehehee
i love cockles..
Well he told me to get a job soon as he need my help to settle his bills..
fair enough since i'm helping you to settle your bills..you have to continue to supportme in terms of financial too..=p FAIR..
i so want to go the ZOO soon..
he's working nowdays so i won't be meeting him so often already..hmm..
i got to go now..
need to meet dad to top up ezlink..
Bye..

8:15 PM